lonelyHERE

feeling lonely even tho I have a family of my own. im not tryin to be negative and I love my family. honestly I feel like a single mom. I have no one to talk stories with or his hang out with But my daughter. husband is distant, I don't think he means to be that way. its just different. if I get word that I don't get thisjob im going to do that immediate hire thing. I really need a job and I need to be working soon. id rather work super hard than not work at all. I am determined to make money and support our needs
honestly we don't need tv or internet I don't need to have a cell phone but this is all apart of the world. I believe keeping my life simplewill benefit me andmy Ohana in The long run.

im not negative just realizing the obvious. if I do t get the bank job. I am going to go work at that job for $1000/wk

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beenFEELING

A little lonely lately. I noticed When I stay home we fight more. Whn we hardly see each other we appreciate each other more.

Must be just me. Something doesn't feel right. I feel alone, living in an apartment with a friend raising a baby. Idk.im not going to go through a emotional stage I just feel very how should I say. Abandoned.

Evvn tho I bring it up it matters for a few days then it starts back up again. Im wondering if I should just go on and do my business as I do.

Maybe he will notice maybe he won't.

I am tired of this. I will go on doing the best I can everyday. I wildo all I can to make a better life for my daughter put my pride aside and work hard for her. Give her something to be proud of. I am a strong woman dammit! I want her to see it. I don't need a man to tell me I can do things I know I can.

Im not leaving him. Im just saying I wont rely on him to do things the way I do. He does his own thing and he seems to have his own routine down. So why constantly bag him on it.

I am not doing it anymore

Ill do what I do
And I will do it good!

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beenAWHILE....

Sooooo lately I've been craving my dark chocolate trying to fours out whether is my new exercise routine or I maybe.....nahhh don't think so.

Im on lunch waiting to go back to work. Had two burritos and debating whether I want to go outside and get my candy.....or ill just get some behind me in the vending machine. Lol

I hate these dreams im having lately, my ex wants me back and for some dumb reason I go back to him then feel guilty becuz im still married....damn need to get those dreams out of me. So sick of it.

I hope I never see that mommas boy ever again. What a dayum LOOOOOOSAH!

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doI?

Do I really want to put sooooo much effort in a JOB? IF I WAS single I would make a career out of Walmart but having a family is my importantn goal in life. Yes making $$$ is apart of maintaining a life But I am more interested in the well being of my daughter and future children. They are the ones that matter the most to me. Its god family job and money. Those are my priorities and I intend to keep it that way..

Toughts of the night

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zumbaDAMN!

Whew today I had a hard workout with my zumba video at home. It was amazing and hard work. I am so determined to get my body in shape for my next child. I need to get past these mental blocks saying "YOU CAN'T DO THIS JANELLE ITS TOO HARD" its a voice I've had in my head for far too long. Its time to get over that hurdle and jus DO IT!!!!

I know I can I just need to keep myself motivated :) with help and support from friends and family I know its possible.

Back to work....

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goodNIGHT

My hubby kairi n I had a great dinner with some awesome friends :) dinner at ken wah chop suey should've took some pics....anywho I love socializing with friends it takes my mind off of other things helps me get through the week.

I would like to be more of an encouraging friend rather than grumbling about stuff all the time positivity is easier to hang around.

I wanna be the way I used to be bubbly and positive :)

That's all for now.
Good night

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onBREAK

Today is a slow day plenty people at work and hoping I can leave work early. I got almost 2 hours of vacation left. I am hoping that I can leave. Anywho, I am determined to go meetings regularly. Its about time I go and be regular its only 4 hours a week at most. I can do that. I know in my wart that is what I want.

I am so determined I need to keep a strict schedule. Of walking jogging studying and going work. I want to be proud of myself for returning to Jehovah. I know MANY people have different stipulations about witnesses but no ones unless they understand. So how can you understand when you aren't open to learning. It kills me that I hurt my family The way I did. But that was in the past. I have changed with the help of my hubby altough he doesn't agree with some teachings he supports me bcuz of how u feel. I love him for that. He is amazing and I wouldn't feel this way if it weren't for him.

He says it hurts him to see me sad. And e wants me to do it for me and only me. I am confident I will make my way back before the end of this year. I love darren and kairi and want nothing nut good things for my little family.

Breaks almost over

Gtg ttyl <3 ME

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determinedTODAY

I would love to volunteer and help out somewhere. However having kairi im unable to help any organized volunteer work. So I think im going to use my thursdays to clean up beaches. Ill probly go down and clean makapuu beach. I want to give back to the community and give my time to a good cause.

Watching this SECRET BILLIONARE SHOW is making me think how do I spend my time???

I dont want to waste it if I can do something to help those less fortunate or even keeping our hawaii beaches clean

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iWOULD <3 TO

HAVE A ROMANTIC LIMOUSINE RIDE

RIDE IN A HOT AIR BALLOON

GO HORSEBACK RIDING

RUN ONE MILE IN TEN MINUTES

TAKE A FIRST CLASS TRIP WITH MY FAMILY

SING TO MY HUBBY WITH CONFIDENCE

DANCE HULA AGAIN

TRAVEL TO ANOTHER COUNTRY

REACH MY HEALTHY WEIGHT GOAL

losing weight has always been on my list of things to do since I can remember. I really need to buckle down and get with it.

Its not for anyone but myself ;)
Well maybe its for my special someone too Hehe

Hope everyone has a great night and weekend. Stay happy love life and be safe :)

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tiredNEED TO GO HOME!!!!

Today was a long day back at work. 2-11 shift. And somehow I need to make it to the party with kaleo them....I don't think I can go, cuz I really need to stay at work the whole 2 weeks to make rent.

What's more important a party or making ends meet. I don't want to be slacking and I don't mind missing it. I feel bad but what am I to do? I can call tomorrow at 7 and see if I can work earlier....but we see.

If no can no can
Plus if I don't go more money we save. Gah.....I just feel bad I made plans and I can't make it. Wish I could. I mean I can go during my lunch but im gonna get in trouble

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tooMUCH.....

So today i have officially closed my facebook account 

hearing of the statistics about how it ruins relationships just made me want to get rid of it

HOWEVER!!!!

I have made a facebook just for my little baby to keep people updated about her. if anyone wants to know whats up with me you are welcome to follow my blog or just call txt or email me!!! haha i know its not the way people are doing it these days haha but i have a phone for a reason! and i dont wanna be spending $80 a month just so i can go on facebook! you catch my drift? so if you wanna get to know me ask me on blogger, write me, call me, or text me! :) 

I am more satisfied with writing about my day then posting general comments that people always tend to take offense to.

Today has been a relax get better day for me, just not feeling well and I would like to get better hopefully by tomorrow so that i may do a better job at work. Speaking of work I know it is a job and something i need to survive, but I DO NOT LOVE my job, I work for a living, and I believe I will never say I will live to work in this "world". This is a horrible place compared to what it was like back when i was younger. Every generation has its ups and downs but I have never seen and heard children talk back and disrespect the very people that gave them life. I get so heated when i hear little ones especially teens acting up to their parents, makes me wonder if i will be able to handle that when my daughter gets older.

Speaking of my little bundle of JOY! She is napping right now and I love that I get to spend time blogging right now, it helps me clear my mind and not be so anxious over things that ultimately do not matter. I love my husband and my daughter, I notice that sometimes when things get rough I want to close up and run away. 

That is exactly what I have been doing since I left Maui, I need to stop running and deal with what crosses my path. 

(right at this very moment we have people smoking pot, marijuana, mary jane, roofies, weed, ganja behind our apartment.....) I hate when they do that, i know we are on the second floor but the wind does carry that smell up...ugh....anywho my goal for the next 3 months is to commit to Slim in 6

SLIM IN 6 

This program has helped me slim down after graduation, I was at my heaviest in high school and was embarassed about it, then when i started working at the airport throwing bags the weight just fell right off, I loved that. Hopefully now I can commit like I did before and complete my goal. I would be happy if i could get my weight down to 200lbs or even 180lbs is my ultimate goal. i DO NOT want to be stick skinny i would love to run a mile in 10minutes, or do a 5K run  under an hour. 

These are just some of the things I would love to accomplish before I turn 40. Im 23 right now so i think running that mile under 10min is a doable goal by the end of this year. I just need to keep my focus and do all that i can

Thats all on my mind for now, write you tomorrow! or when the urge strikes :)

needsSLEEP!!!

Im getting delusional at work im so freakin tired....maybe going to eat lunch out was a bad idea....haha thank you to my hubby for letting me go.

I reeeeeeally want to buy that movie burlesque. Im hoping my honey will let me buy it. That and bambi :)

Time to go back to work, hoping and praying for a BLACKOUT HERE AT WALMART KEEAUMOKU!!!!

COME ON MAN!

TALOFA

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wouldYOU???

WOULD YOU

take back the love of your life if they cheated?

For me NO I love my husband with all my heart but if that trust was betrayed he would lose my Love. I would forgive him, but that would be it.

Rather be buried or cremated?

Id rather be cremated and buried with my husband.

Pretty distracted right now watching FRIENDS :)

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offTODAY!!!

Ahhhhh the work week isn't so bad when I have my day off :) im at home relaxing with my baby girl and hubby is playing DC UNIVERSE Ps3.

SUCKER PUNCH looks pretty awesome!

So last night come to find out I swear while im alseep. Hubby told me I said "SHUT THE F*CK UP!!!!" YIKES I didn't even realize I said that.
Im watching disaster date haha.

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goodNEWS!!!

Got my eval today and I am a SOLID PERFORMER!!!! WHOOO-HOOO!

PLUS I GOT A RAISE. So blessed!!!

My monkey is in my shoe!

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randomTHOUGHTS II

Who decided february would have 28 days?

For people who enjoy zombie/alien/psycho killer movies, would you really enjoy it if it was your reality?

Why do babies flap their arms? My baby girl does it like she's trying to fly away to NEVERLAND! LOL

The only lady gaga song I can consistently listen to and not get sick of is JUS DANCE I jus love that song

Why do you shiver after u pee???

When just fart in public what do u do? I just slyly walk away and then run away laughing haha

SoMething I thought id nevEr listen to and like: HAWTHORNE HEIGHTS. °_°

To be continued.....

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randomTHOUGHTS

HUBBY is vacumming, he's sick right now...but he still wants me to rest and feed KAIRI before i leave for work at 1pm. I honestly dont mind working night time its busy, keeps me on my toes.

i hear vaccuming? outside, or they could be yard cleaning. i heard a BEEP which means my hubby is gonna be playing some PS3 haha. gAVE kairi medicine, she keeps looking at the laptop haha, shes listening to the sounds coming from outside the lawn mower. Im just explaining to her what a lawn mower is, its to cut grasss and make it look pretty

recently ive been doing a 7 day picture challenge with a good friend of mine SERENA! and today is Day 4: Post a RANDOM picture/(s) so i will keep with the random theme and Im going to post RANDOM pictures on my blog!

btw HERE are a few things i love

DARK CHOCOLATE
MUD PIE
FOOD NETWORK
DISNEY CHANNEL
OXYGEN
ZUMBA PS3
WALKING
TENNIS
PLAYING GUITAR
SINGING I ENJOY IT DONT MEAN IM ANY GOOD HAHA
WRITING
COOKING BAKING
STAR GAZING
YELLOW
EUROPE
MYSTERY
HUMOR
MAKE UP, LOVE PLAYING WITH MY MAKE UP
BEACH, SURFING, BODY BOARDING
TRAVELLING
CLEVELAND BROWNS
THE CRUNCHY PARTS OF FRENCH FRIES
COCA COLA
SPRITE
DR. PEPPER
ALWAYS THE END PIECE OF PRIME RIB ALL THAT JUICY CRUSTY GOODNESS YUM!
MOVIES/VIDEOS THAT MAKE ME CRY
ACCENTS
MOHAWKS
SHOPPING AT ROSS'
CHUNKY RINGS

THATS all i can think of at the moment so until next time

ADIOS! (you guessed it part SPANISH)

cousin wyatt honihoni kairi ^_^

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Cookie Corner

KAIRI was hungers for some Cooooooookies! Hehe. Not yet baby

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my lil sis & me

I miss her, she and I are so much alike. We used to fight like we hated each other so much. Funny how things turn out. She and her family visited us since last week wednesday night. She wanted to bring her fiance over to oahu for the first time. Maybe next time we can do more things. I can take vacation so we can have more fun!!!! Love you Jaclynn (soon to be Jaramillo)

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hubby, me, & baby kairi

Tried soooo many times to get a good family photo but we failed...haha. I need to start taking more pictures of is when we got out.

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me & my daughter

We had a great day at Pearlridge yesterday. Good times always come to an end but I enjoyed every moment :)

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realME II

Im trying to think of what to write but my little munchkin is next to me trying to fly away. ^_^ she's flapping her arms and legs & cooing like she's going somewhere haha

So anyway. Being apart of a big family I realized I never got to find things I was truly interested in.

I was always a follower. I followed my older sister and what she liked including music, tv shows, movies, and the like. I had my own interests but nothing that I clearly remember calling my own. I enjoyed local music kapena, hapa, kealii riechel. Dancing hula was something I miss doing. My sisters and I participated in the QLCC program that helped hawaiian children learn about their hawaiian heritage with activites and group get togethers. I miss those days. Without a care in the world just worrying about what to wear for school, homework, And big tests...ahhhh those were the days!

My favorite memory during school was: playing teather (sp?) ball haha I was good at that game, with my height I had the advantage haha.

Which reminds me of dodgeball!
I wanted to play with the guys in 4th grade one guy yelled "NO GIRLS ALLOWED!!!" one day the ball came rolling to my feet I picked it up and and I flew it towards them. Lol. Only then did they want me to play. I was a shoe in every game. That was my thing up until 6th grade when suddenly all my friends seemed to be TOO COOL to hang with me.

I had to start from the beginning...

It was easy making friends, I had friends from each clique around school. It was fun jumping from group to group, something new was always going on. I joined band played the baritone....wish I played VOLLEYBALL...maybe id be in better shape today.

Anywayz! Fastfoward to highschool

That was a big blur, I wish I had paid more attention In class instead of being sucked into who was dating who and who liked who. Mindless jibba jabba!!!

However, senior year i found what seemed to be my calling cooking! I loved my cooking class, that dream was shattered when I failed miserably in a cooking competition
Not as easy as it looks on food network lol

I was inspired by that disney cooking movie where bobby flay appeared. I was so sure I was going to be a chef when I graduated.

I ended up working for hawaiian airlines after high school that was an amazing experience. Meeting new people travelling for FREE!!!!
getting $150 tips haha flying first class to Texas :) ahhhh the memories.

One piece of wisdom I will pass on:
NEVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES DATE SOMEONE YOU WORK WITH! It almost always never works out. I made that mistake and never will again

Becuz im MARRIED!!!!

That is a different story for a different day. So until then

AUF WIEDERSEHEN!
(Btw im part German :) )

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realME :)

My name is Janelle Nohara (Jale), I come from a family of 6 children, I am #3. During my childhood I have always been on the heavy side. I was the outgoing funny "chubby" girl. My weight was never a problem until I was consistently ridiculed not only in school, but at home.

I am not looking for no sympathy, but for all of you who have teased a "chubby/big boned/thick/fluffy/fat" kid just remember words can be just as hurtful. I am going to set a good example for my daughter and teach her to love people no matter what they look like. There will always be "that one kid" who's the trouble maker, but i will not stand for my kids being a bully to someone who doesnt look "normal". 

What is the world's definiton of "normal"?

dictionary.com defines normal as

–adjective

1.

conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; notabnormal; regular; natural

My next question is Who sets the standard for what is considered "normal"? 

Answer: Everyone does, everyone has their own opinion on what is considered normal.

For example in Hawaii it is "normal" for local people to eat SPAM! 

(btw, i love SPAM it is freakin awesome)

One the mainland SPAM?!?!? wHO eats that? thatsnot normal! 

my point is, if we raise our children to think of fluffy people differently we are actually teaching them to judge people before they get to know them

EVERYTHING FALLS BACK TO THE GOLDEN RULE:

 TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED 

Its sad but true many people today forget how to treat other in a humane way. 

thats a world i refuse to raise my daughter in. it starts with us parents. we need to set the example.

more on ME in a few hours! 

banana pancakes :)

myLOVE

[The Dream] 
Radio Killa 
did a song with the American Dream 
They can't put it down like this, no no no no 
Im her baby, she my shawty 
Oh, we rockin 
They got our sh*t all up in the press 
They hate on us 

Now who's right there every time you cry? 
Gonna sleep and wake up on your side? 
Endless love I'll always provide 
They hatin on us and you should know why 
But who's be lovin you lately? 
Who's willing to go half on the baby? 
Who ooo ooo's trying to flag our ship? 
They just tryin to get the love you give 
But baby, 

[Chorus] 
Tell me what they know about my love (my love) [x8] 

Ohhhhhhhhh, Ohhhhhhhhhhh, Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh 

[Mariah Carey] 
So they don?t understand why I'll never leave you 

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/my-love-lyrics-the-dream.html ]

Explain my love I don't need to 
Got everybody way up in our business 
Cuz leavin each other stay on their wish list 
I see them reachin everytime you call me baby 
They on my back like a shirt, get off me baby 
They don't love me, let them wonder why 
Here to stay and they going bye bye 
Who's the one calling you baby? 
Who's in love with your ass like crazy? 
Who who who's gonna flag our ship? 
They just tryna get the love u give baby 

Tell me what they know about my love (my love)[x8] 

Ohhhhhhhhh, Ohhhhhhhhhhh, Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh 

My love is your love 
There ain?t nothing in this world that they can do to make me give you up 
Oh baby you will always be my girl 
so let them do whatever, say whatever 
Cuz I ain't givin her up 

Tell me what they know about my love (my love) [x8]

myANTHEM! 

THIS LOVE IS BETWEEN ME AND HIM ONLY SO PLEASE STAY OUT THANK YOU :)

Music puts my soul at ease and makes me forget about the stupid things going on around me. Brings out what matters most: my family and making them happy. Theres only a few people in life the will stick by your side through the good and bad, those are the ones worth keeping around. 

brandNEW

ALOHA NUI LOA! 

My blogger name is realTALK808.

Im new to blogging and I decided to do it becuz of a few reasons:

1. I love to write (not in pen anymore) Writing gives me the ability to express how im feeling, its a release of a OMFG day, or a LMAF MOMENT, or a plain what i did today, some shit like that

2. Instead of bothering other ppl with my thoughts, typing it seems like the next best thing

3. sometimes i just get bored! 

HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOO